My Husband is a Big Daddy's Boy!!!!!!!

[lisa t.]

My husband and I plan on moving in the next week.
He has lived either with or right next to his dad since
He was five. So he's very attached to him. I can't say I really understand that because I've not ever had that kind
Of close relationship with either of my parents.but whenever
He gets in the slightest tight spot financially, ol' daddy's there to bail him out. Well, like I said we're moving three hours away (we now live nextdoor) from him and he's planning on moving him in with us. He didnt even ask my opinion,
He just said he's leaving it up to his dad.he dad is very
Able to take care of himself.he's not old and feeble, if he needed someone to take care of him that would be a totally
Different story! We've only been married for about 2 months
And I would like to have some privacy!!! I feel like he wants him there mainly because he knows he'll help him out
Financially. I just wish he'd grow up and learn how to take care of himself instead of depending on daddy like he's still 2. We live a totally different lifestyle than his dad and he can't be around him for a long period of time without griping about how much his dad gets on his nerves and how he doesn't like what he does. So I don't understand why in the world he wants the stinking man to live with us!!
I love his dad,but I don't want him to live with us!

[jamesglewisf]

Just a quick note about forums: please don't use ALL CAPS. It is very hard to read. I've redone your two posts. You also don't have to hit return except at the end of a paragraph. The forum automatically wraps your text.

I think you need to talk to your husband. It sounds like you are just upset right now, but if you talk to him like you have in this post, I don't think you will get anywhere. If you belittle him, you'll never talk him into anything. It's just not an effective means of communication.

If you are both Christians, which I gather from your other post, then it is time to "leave and cleave." Genesis 2:24
24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.That said, if your parents are unable to care for themselves, they are your responsibility, but that doesn't sound like the case here.

I am on your side. I think it would be good to move three hours away from his Dad. Get your marriage established for a couple of years away from your parents. New couples need to learn to live on their own and meet their own needs financially and emotionally.

I also disagree that it is his father's decision. Who lives in your house is your decision as a couple.

[blinc]

There's something in your post that really has me concerned Lisat. It's that you seem to have no voice in this decision.... how did that come about? Does your husband not feel that you have an equal right to decide what goes on in your household? Is he that controlling? If he is, then I'm really worried about you.

In all fairness, and I really don't mean to sound harsh here... didn't you know what their relationship was like, before you got married? Or, is this an aspect of their relationship you didn't realize until afterwards?

I'm also on your side... it's hard for me to imagine that your father-in-law hasn't asked you how you feel about this situation... hasn't he asked if it's ok with you too? If not, then I get the feeling I know where your husbands lack of respect for you comes from.

Have you just flat out expressed your dislike for this idea to your husband? If so, what happend? (If you don't mind sharing).