Always late returning barrowed Money!

[Nise]

A member of my husbands family is always asking us for money, $40 here..$30 there another $50 the next weekend. When will it STOP!!!
Well my hubby can't tell him no( it a very close member of his family...like immediate) so he just keeps asking.
I wouldn't mind loaning it to him except for the fact that he is getting money from us to by alcohol so his wife doesn't find out ! She monitors their money very closely and allows him a certain amount for his bills etc. since she would know any extra $ was missing and want to know how he spent it (he's borderline alcoholic)
I told the hubby that I DID NOT WANT TO SUPPORT HIS HABBIT..


{mad} {mad} {mad}
He makes good money..I say he needs to have the guts to tell his wife he wants to drink...(however, this would probably lead to divorce !
It's been 3 weeks since he took our Money...I want it back...we have bills too!!
{fireblob} {frusty} {flame} {fire} {fireblob}

[kezzer]

Oh man, that really stinks. I think your husband needs to nip the habit of letting him borrow the money in the bud.

[jamesglewisf]

My dad told me a long time ago to never loan money to anyone. He said if you want to help them, give them the money with no expectation of it ever being returned. If they do pay you back, it is a pleasant surprise; but if they don't, you won't be upset.

[Nise]

It's been another two weeks and he still hasn't returned the $ he bummed from us!
Should I say something to him or just ride this thing out and let my hubby talk to him?{confused} {smash} {fire}

{no}
{no}
{no}

[PsalmReader]

I would try to leave that up to your hubby. It's his family, so he should be the one to deal with it.

[Nise]

Well, an update is necessary..... still no returned money!!
He's supposed to give it to us this Saturday.....guess we'll see.
Can you believe it's been since Feb? Sheesh!

[raybeck]

I'm with you Nise...if everyone that owed us borrowed money would pay up we honestly could put in a swimming pool! Guess that would have to be a pet peeve of mine, because I have always paid what I owe. We now have a situation where my husband's brother asked to live on 38 acres of our land for 6 months and that was over 2 years ago. We charged him a very small amount for rent and we stopped getting that 7 months ago. I really like he and his wife, but they better have made new living arrangements before our new house is completed. I wouldn't be so angry if he hadn't quit his job and didn't work for over 8 months, kind of hard to be sympathetic in that circumstance. So far, no harsh words have been exchanged, but they are sure testing us...just need to keep praying about it. We do enjoy their company, just prefer to be able to utilize all of our land, that's why we bought it. Hope I don't sound selfish, I don't mean to be, we have been very blessed throughout our lives, but we have worked for everything we have and sure don't owe anyone money.

[Nise]

Raybeck- Your hubby's brother sounds like my Dad's brother!! He is living off of my dad!! Pee's me off but that story would take all day. I sympathise with you!!

[Nise]

Some people just don't know when they have worn out their welcome or abused your kindness!!

[raybeck]

You're right about worn out their welcome and feeling like you have been scammed by a relative (anyone, for that matter)! I feel like we have done all we can to help them, now they need to help themselves, but that is how it has always been, the family bails them out (usually his Mom). We aren't talking about young people here, they are well into their 40's...time to grow up. They are good people at heart, but have filed bankruptcy so much I think they have become immune to having pride or feeling they need to repay folks. It's really weird, I cannot imagine letting myself get into such a situation (unless it was something totally out of anyone's control) which, this is not the case. It's really not even the money, it is the principle of thing! Oh well, no sense making ourselves sick about it either, but I truly do understand where you are coming from!

[jamesglewisf]

I think running up a bunch of debt and filing the kind of bankruptcy where you don't have to pay it back is just stealing. It seems like they shouldn't allow you to do it more than once.

[raybeck]

I agree with you, one time and if you don't learn your lesson, then too bad! How will people ever learn if they know they can just turn around and file another bankruptcy? I don't get it!