What kids are wearing...

[CuriousG]

I had to run some errands last night, and as I made my way through the stores, I really couldn't overlook it anymore. Why are young 12 and 13 year old (and sometimes younger) girls running around with hardly any clothes on? Hip-hugger jeans and skin-tight, cut-off tops are not meant to be worn by young girls like that. (Or by anyone in a lot of situations. I think a lot of people forgot what appropriate dress means in certain public areas and events). I understand the influx of media attention and the pop-culture influences that these kids receive adds fuel to the skin-revealing fire, but where are the parents that just say no? Don't they understand the impact that letting their daughters run around in these outfits can have. I know that they are trying to appease their children so that they fit in, but it's encouraging the sexualization of our children at a younger age. It can have so many repercussions as far as social interaction, the impression people get, the reputation this child forms, the people they hang out with, a target for assault, self-esteem and values issues. The list goes on. I just don't understand it. Corporate America encourages it as well. Just look around the shelves at your average department stores. The racks are full of revealing clothing in just the right size for these youngsters. In fact there are hardly any modest selections for young ladies to choose from. It's very frustrating.

[Alec]

We need to let kids be kids. They're being forced to grow up to fast.

jamesglewisf wrote an article about the way we let kids dresshttp://www.marriedadults.com/fleeimmoralitypublish.pdf. It's from his perspective as a Christian, but it talks about how we need to teach our kids to be modest. Parents definitely are dropping the ball.

[theyeti]

I don't think the problem is so much kids who are wearing skin-revealing clothes, I don't have any problem there as long as it's not in a situation that makes other people feel uncomfortable.

The problem is the people who want to wear more modest clothing and can't because stores seem to require that it has to have been on MTV or they won't carry it. And the stigma those people feel for wanting to dress.... normally.

Here's a good article that's been in the news lately...
More girls pushing for modest fashion items (http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=11849131&BRD=1817&PAG=461&dept_id=222077&rfi=6)

[KalenElendil]

I don't think that it matters so much that people are wearing really revealing clothes but more on the fact of how they act. They act like whores and that is the problem more then the clothes.

[CuriousG]

I agree to a point, but regardless of how you act, if you are still wearing inappropriate clothing, it is still inappropriate.

[jamesglewisf]

There was a good article on this in the DMN. http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/city/collin/opinion/stories/022004dnccovoices.a188e.htmlCollin County parents, what are you thinking?

Is anyone troubled by the bare bellies, tattoos and piercings on our teenage girls? Or about the way our girls are growing up too fast in general? If so, you'd never know it by observing our communities.

It's amazing that in a conservative town like McKinney, some parents actually encourage body piercings for their 15- and 16-year-old daughters and even take their young daughters to get tattooed. Some moms even get matching tattoos! I've heard of mother-daughter matching outfits, but matching tattoos?

This generation of parents has become so permissive, it truly boggles the mind. Stonebriar Centre in Frisco and Collin Creek Mall in Plano are full of pre-teens and teenagers given no boundaries. But what they lack in guidance they make up for with spending money. The small stores geared to these young girls reflect the current cultural and entertainment mores and are, for the most part, inappropriate for their age. Surely Collin County parents don't really think thongs for 9-year-olds are OK, do they? Even families that are more conservative allow their daughters to grow up entirely too fast. They may not be wearing clothes that are too revealing, but these girls are regulars at the nail salon or have standing appointments for retouch on their highlights by the time they are 11 years old. What do these young girls have to look forward to? They are 11 going on 30! Obviously, there is no handbook on parenting given out when children are born, and certainly not every family shares the same values. But the mistakes parents are making these days are serious, and girls are getting mixed messages (at best) from their friends, television and magazines. They are overly sexualized, commercialized and desensitized.

What do we want from our girls? Good grades and the ability to stay out of trouble so that they will not take up too much of our time as we pursue a high standard of living? Do we really just want to throw money at them and their problems?

[CuriousG]

I visited a new church this weekend. It was very laid back and casual. I was wearing khakis and a polo shirt and felt over-dressed. I couldn't believe what some of the young women wore to church. Skin-tight jeans with midriff baring tops. These girls were 14 at the absolute oldest and sitting right beside their parents. I wanted to slap the parents upside the head. Granted, I've seen much more inappropriate outfits on young women, but come on, in church!? I honestly feel that there are just too many people out there that are not mature or responsible enough to properly raise children to be appropriate members of society. I know, I know, who am I to judge, but I am entitled to my opinion. Kids don't need parents to be their best friend all the time, they need someone to guide and teach them. They need an authority figure in their lives, because if the parents aren't this source of authority, who else is going to do it. Teachers hands are tied, just as most everyone else in the community is limited in their influence. Authority exerted by the police is not usually going to be a positive experience. I think parents often forget just how big a job they have. They are shaping the future of the world by shaping the individuals who will run it.

[KalenElendil]

That is really radical. I can't beleive that people would go to church like that. Anyone in my family would have been removed or something.

[EmBee]

I hope nobody has a problem with me replying to a post that's a couple of weeks old, but it was near the top so I hope I can get away with it.

My daughter, Pickle, is 10 and even though some girls in her school wear the horrid belly exposing jeans, I dress her in regular straight legged at the waist jeans and not too tight. Her shorts are short but at the not too short length for decent dress...again, regular. This is a 10 year old that is less than 2 inches shorter than myself...and still growing! She has grown over 4 inches since last jeans season started.
Finding anything other than the tight hip-hugging, bellbottoms requires more money than we have to spend on a 10 year olds school clothes.
Last year I had to resort to boys jeans...Canyon River Blues. Yes, the brand is also made for girls but even they have followed the hip-hugging fad. I have exausted almost all other options except for the Levi brand.
I'll admit that Levis seem to have been made for her shape...long and thin, and they look nice on her. Spending $25 per pair is not so nice.
As for shorts, the school dress code states that they must be knee length...cut offs are not acceptable. Every store I have been in has the "regular" length shorts. I have to spend $15 per pair of Levi shorts (which are long enough), in this case, because buying jeans and cutting them off just to sew the hem and make shorts is not financially feasible. If I don't buy Levi jeans then I suffer through the option of buying hip-hugging jeans to cut off into hip-hugging shorts.
Now the only thing that saves me and allows me to "raise the funds" to buy her Levis is that this is Texas and jeans aren't usually bought until about November, well after the money is replinished from buying starter clothes and supplies...but that doesn't help with the shorts issue.

Anybody know where to buy a girls size 12-14 for a good price...and still have them appear "nice"?

[theyeti]

Our dress code says shorts have to go past the end of the fingertips... the problem with that is that it's not the same for everybody. For some people that's down to the knees, for other people, well it's a lot lot shorter. A lot of people make a point of going just barely shorter - it's not sexual or anything, just rebellion.

School dress codes - gimme a break. First off, you've got to enforce it all the time, secondly you've got to enforce it equally. There's just no way that's going to happen in most schools. In a large school with lots of teachers and lots of students there's no chance it's going to happen. If you want to take some sensible steps to solve what you believe to be a problem that's great, but what my school at least does is come up with a policy that accomplishes no more than complaining does - then they bust it out maybe one week a quarter and use it to "get under the skin" so to speak of the people they don't like.

[Grimey]

Originally posted by EmBee
I hope nobody has a problem with me replying to a post that's a couple of weeks old, but it was near the top so I hope I can get away with it. That's actually what you are supposed to do rather than just starting a new thread. It doesn't matter if the thread is 3 days old or 3 years old, you can reply to it. I've seen jamesglewisf reply to threads that are really old, but still interesting.

[clarebear]

School will be starting soon and the battle will begin again. The stores are now beginning to stock the back to school clothes. I don't see a problem wearing low rise jeans as long as you aren't showing your belly and you don't have a super skin tight shirt on. Some of the girls just go to the extreme. It is hard to find clothes that cover so the only option is to get OUT of the bee bop stores. The clothing market is geared toward teens and they make up hundreds of thousands of the profit. I understand how parents try to make their children look presentable. The problem with making your child wear straight leg jeans in a flair jean world is that your child will be an outcast. Now I'm not saying let your kid wear whatever they want, I just think there needs to be a middle area. Children have such a hard time fitting in. The last thing they need to worry about is how they dress. Parents don't have to have their daughters dressed as tramps. A pair of low rise jeans and a nice shirt looks nice. I have noticed that girls are maturing faster these days. One problem is that even nicely dressed, a 13 or 14 year old now looks 20! (Makes it harder to have them look like a young girl) I think kids have enough to worry about. Being different than everyone else can sometimes carry into their adulthood. (Self esteem is everything to a teen) A teen can have class, dignity and respect for themselves and still be in syle. There IS a middle ground somewhere between "The Gap" and "JC Penny's".

[Justawoman]

The whole shorts issue drives me nuts. It is almost impossible to find school dress code shorts. I brought this up to the principal one year. She had no comment, since she does not have children and has no clue what is in the department stores.

So instead of doing the short hunting expedition each year, we opt for the cooler capri look and go ahead and buy the jeans.

[clarebear]

I had a hard time finding myself shorts this year. Talk about WAY too short! I ended up buying the shorts and taking the hem out.

There are catalogs that have school approved clothing. (including shorts)

See here (http://www.landsend.com/cd/index/fp/0,,53024,00.html)

and

and here (http://frenchtoast.com/Default.asp?sid=SITE&bhcd2=1091712948)

[Justawoman]

Thanks for the links Clarebear.

[CuriousG]

I think there's a huge difference between being in style and dressing inappropriately. I think sometimes the challenge lies in the parents knowing what is in style compared to what their kids tell them is in style. In-style doesn't necessarily mean skimpy, and the alternative isn't necessarily turtle necks and parachute pants. It takes communication between parents and kids to make these decisions. Kids, just like anyone else, use their clothes to express who they are and their individuality. As adults, we can do this with our house, car, etc. Kids don't have all these options, so usually clothing is their major or sole means of expression. You can't tell them what to wear, cause they just won't for the simple reason that you want them to wear it. You have to work with your kids so that they make the right decisions on their own.

[xpac]

Well, if those kinds of clothes are trendy right now, so let it be. You don't want other kids to laugh at your child for wearing something old fashioned and not so trendy, do you? But yes, according to fashion designers, wearing skin tight or too baggy clothes is not trendy and must be avoided. Skin tight clothes was an old trend, then came the baggy clothes trend (Usually bel bottoms adn stuff like that), which also faded away. I think the problem is that these kids don't really know what is trendy right now and they simply wear stuff which they see some other kid wearing and think it is cool. That "other" kid may be wearing skin tight or baggy clothes simply because he/she doesn't knows what is trendy. Well, I think it's the parents duty to let their kids understand clothing. What to wear, and when to wear. You should tell them about formal and casual clothing. (Kids always stick to casual clothing, no matter what event it may be)

I'm 13 and I visit this site to get all the info on clothing and stuff: http://teenfashion.about.com

I also suggest this site to all my mates and they wear trendy clothes, but not neccessarily revealing.

[Justawoman]

Well, if those kinds of clothes are trendy right now, so let it be. You don't want other kids to laugh at your child for wearing something old fashioned and not so trendy, do you?

As far as fashion goes and what is trendy, it really does rely on where you live. If you want to argue that point then come to the Panhandle of Texas. Now I respect that you are 13 and have common sense enough to go investigate what is trendy by the fashion industries standards. In fact you are the exact customer they are looking for. The person who buys into the need to look like everyone else. I like taking my girls shopping. I often hear how they don't want to look like everyone else. They want their own style. It all goes back to a knowing that the clothes don't make the person, the person makes the clothes.

[OnceByten]

Ohh what a good thread!

I am so tired of buying clothes for my 6 & 5 year old daughters and finding these tiny t-shirts and low rise jearns. There is NO WAY that these little girls should be dressing like harlots!

DH went to Walmart in August and saw some Kim Possible (Disney show) lounge suits for girls, so he got one for each of them. Well, he gets them home and the girls put them on. The pants were fine, but the tops were WAY too short. I mean COME ON this is Disney wear, the company that supposedly prides itself on family values and here they are marketing these TINY shirts to babies!!

Neither of my girls will be wearing any of those "Brittney Spearish" whore wear! There is NO NEED for any child under the age of 18 to wear clothes like that.

Just my .02c

[spirit renewed]

How do you define modest?

Are we talking modest in comprison with?

[Ziggyzaazaa]

Im just glad I have to boys :) Enough said.

[spirit renewed]

I've seen some boys dressed inappropriately. Some things I can overlook (or look elsewhere) when the plumber's head is under my sink, but not in public places! {hat}

[Justawoman]

Yep, the baggy pants on boys that looks like they had an accident in their drawers.

[OnceByten]

Arg those pants make me wanna go over and yank them up!

And what is with the baseball cap with the visor over their ear?? It just looks dumb!

[Justawoman]

We all had our moments as teens. I remember the classic 80's looks. Ugh!!! What were we thinking???

[Alec]

Arg those pants make me wanna go over and yank them up!

And what is with the baseball cap with the visor over their ear?? It just looks dumb!
Choose your battles. Ignore dumb and fight indecent.

[asnchic]

Yeah, I completely understand where you're coming from.

When I was little, my parents were fortunate that I'm such a traditionally modest person. My mom always chided me for it because she was basically a hippy...odd how things work out. I saw a picture of my dad once in purple bell bottoms. Classic.

It's all about "expressing" yourself these days but it's hard when so many fashions gravitate towards one topic. I hate when girls wear pants too tight with shirts to small exposing their stomachs. I think that's a personal pet peeve. Wear things that fit. It's common sense.

My old high school was instituting a dress code when I drove back for the Thanksgiving. I voted yes because I was sick of the flabby stomachs I saw around school.

[CuriousG]

Regardless of what fashions are, I just don't understand why some people choose to wear things that just aren't flattering for them at all. It's a free country, but some people aren't doing themselves any favors.

[Justawoman]

I have to agree CG. I mean most folks do own mirrors and not all fashion is suited for all body types. It doesn't help matters when a 2X woman goes into a dress shop and they have the same skimpy shirt in her size that they have for the size 0 woman. It just doesn't work the same way.

[Bruisy]

I agree. Im 16 and i find what people wear today to be disgusting and a horrible example of character. Whatever happend to being modest. How could ANYONE wear something like that and not feel ashamed or embarassed

[Madge]

I have to admit that I did NOT read this whole thread, and I apologize if I'm being redundant. I think I have seen a bit of a trend in younger people to be more discreet in their dress habits - I just don't feel as appalled as I was - maybe I'm just getting used to it! I remember the '70's quite well - I dressed EVERY DAY for school in "hip hugger" jeans with X-Tra wide gussets sewn in the legs, with the wide belts, body suits, Earth Shoes and hooded sweatshirts. Oh, man 0n the good old days!! What bothers me is the very young teens - 12-15 years old - with body piercings, horribly bad makeup and WAY too much money to spend that I see in the malls. Where are the parents? JUST as bad are the older "teens" and people into their 20's that are WAY TOO heavy to be wearing revealing clothing, where their middles are hanging out and they are bulging from their bras and ill-fitting clothing. GROSS.

[Justawoman]

What I don't like are the low rise jeans that keep getting lower. The 80's were something else too with our Flash Dance look happening. Leg warmers are back. Watch Justawoman run screaming from the room.

Now we saw in school those who would cut the necks out of sweatshirts and cut the arms off, along with the bottom band. Remember that look. My best friend and I were too country for that. We had our goat ropers, wranglers, bottom down shirts and t-shirts. We even had the belt with the buckle. We thought Reba looked more cool than Flash Dance look. Heck I still dress country. Barbara Mandrel said it best, " I was country when country wasn't cool."

[CuriousG]

To all the supposedly "hip" ladies out there, please put your butt crack away. There is no need to draw fashion trends from the local plumber.

[raybeck]

I agree Curious...I hate that! I hate trying to find jeans for myself that don't fit like that, it is next to impossible. I think it is really sad how the kids, especially the girls are just getting younger and younger and trying to dress older than they are. Just disgusts me that parents don't step in and have some kind of control. I must admit I wore the hip huggers in the 70's, but they did not even come close to the ones the kids wear now days, I don't know how they keep them up (well, I guess some don't...ha). I also wore the very short skirts, etc., but basically, I wasn't allowed to go out looking like a prostitute! To me, that is how so many of them are looking these days, it's so sad!!

[JacMac]

To all the supposedly "hip" ladies out there, please put your butt crack away. There is no need to draw fashion trends from the local plumber.
http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lol01.gif

This thread is great. It's so completely true. I'm sure you're all tired of hearing this but it's another reason I stopped teaching. I was 21 years old and felt like I was looking at a class of mini me's. I understand how cute it is to see a 2 year old in a bikini or in flared jeans - but what happened to the polyester one-color shorts with the elastic waist that everyone was wearing when I was in elementary school? Now everything is adult. I feel it breaches the line of child/adult and is a cause for the lack of respect for elders. It's parents getting "matching tattoos" or "matching outfits" and being too busy being their child's friend to be their parent.

I also completely understand the difficulties of trying to dress a kid "modestly" without making them stick out like a sore thumb and also finding the clothes to be able to dress them modestly. Someone made a point a few pages back that you don't need to dress them in straight-leg high waist jeans to be modest and it's true. But it is also near impossible (I speak for myself here too!) finding shirts that actually go long enough to not show skin when you move or sit. I'm limited on budget as well so I can't spend $50 on a shirt just so it will fit right! I think that low-rise jeans are more comfortable than high waisted ones but I sometimes have to resort to wearing a camisole/tank type undershirt that tucks into my pants so I don't show skin when I bend down or sit! I think I may have a longer torso than some but sheesh...it shouldn't be this difficult to clothe myself or for others to clothe their children! Something definitely needs to give in the manufacturer and retail side here....it's definitely gone too far!

and ohmigod, JAW - legwarmers...hee hee hee...I hear ya!
http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/diverse/Scare.gif

[Justawoman]

They are back JacMac and so are you!!! Yippee

Our sophomore came in the other day telling me about a girl who wore legwarmers with a skirt and flipflops. We both about bust a gut laughing over that one.

And what about the women who were those shirts cut short right above the waistline and shouldn't be wearing these midriff shirts??? They look like a can of biscuits about to explode.

[CuriousG]

What I find especially interesting is the fashion articles, even in men's magazines such as Maxim, Stuff, GQ, etc. They show a look and where to buy the clothes and all of that for the average guy to wear, but what average guy goes out and spends over a hundred dollars for one pair of jeans, or $50 on a t-shirt?! That just doesn't seem realistic to me. Unless you're making over $100,000 a year, who has that kind of money to spend on clothes, especially if you have a mortgage and a family to provide for? It's understandable to pay a little more for better quality products, but please tell me how much difference there is between a $30 pair of American Eagle jeans, and a $150 pair of Calvin Kleins? People are too obsessed with brand recognition.

[Madge]

Here's my favorite wardrobe faux pas - low riding jeans that expose the waist band (if that's what you want to call it) of the thong panties!! YUCK!! I don't need you telling me you have something stuck up your butt - I can tell by the way your tight jeans are making you walk!!! I feel particularly unwell when I see "older" women in tight-fitting, younger clothing, too much "pancake" makeup and obvious plastic surgery. That is NOT aging gracefully!!!

[Justawoman]

Have to go along with that one Madge. I like the fact that the older I have gotten I wear less makeup. I give thanks to my copper and collagen treatments found in OTC cosmetics. Plus my natural olive skin. It hasn't faded over the years. That bronzing powder they came out with is a God send. It looks so natural without over doing.

[Madge]

Couldn't agree more on the copper and collagen - don't forget the Alpha Hydroxy exfollients. I have very light Irish-looking skin but in the summer, I bronze up like crazy!! That must be the French in me - you wouldn't believe the difference!! I wear next to nothing on my skin (moisturizer, of course) in the summer but mascara.

Speaking of "older" women - I was at the mall the other day just schlepping around when I saw myself in a mirror. I'm starting to dress just like my Mom!! What's comfortable is best. I've gotta do something - I know women older than me who look fantastic, and it's all a matter of paying close attention to clothing trends and adapting them to yourself. I work in a place where jeans, flannel shirts, work boot and sweat shirts are normal attire. If you happen to dress nicer, everyone wants to know who died!! http://www.frappydoo.com/forum/images/smilies/roflmbo.gifWe all look like we just came out of an LL Bean catalog - especially in the winter

[Justawoman]

Now I would fit in there. I haven't had a dress on in years or heels. My feet would go on strike even if I tried.

[JacMac]

Hey ladies! I'm a bit younger but I still hear ya. I hardly wear make-up; sometimes wish I was better about trying to look good but truthfully, I can't wake up early enough to make my lunch, feed and walk the dogs, AND look like a beauty queen!! Madge I am Irish too and yet tan well...oh did I mention I am also French! How strange is that! I've got some Belgian and English in me as well...but I think it's the french that helps me tan. Too funny. oh...and for the thong post...why don't kids want to leave anything to anyone's imagination? I remember joking when I was younger with my girlfriends on what underwear we thought guys wore. We'd be sitting there and someone would walk by and we'd say "tighty whities" or "boxers"....it was funny. now there's no guessing - you could name the color and brand!

JAW, Leg warmers were bigger for me as ice skating attire...I can't imagine anyone wearing such wintry accesories with flip-flops!! That is SO funny. Does she wear a scarf with her bathing suit? hee hee hee....