It Couldn't Possibly Be This Easy... Right?

[Justawoman]

I don't know how many of you have heard of Dr. Laura Schlessinger. She has a new book out entitled," The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." On pages 5,10,30,44,52,64,92,and 121, she uses the word simple to describe men. I don't know what planet she comes from. If I met my husband at the door every night wearing a dress, makeup, hair done, his houseshoes, and a cold beer, he would demand to know what went wrong and how much did it cost.

Dr. Laura says this is all that is needed to make any man happy.
1. Bolster his ego. ( a pat on the head)
2. A hearty meal
3. An occassional roll in the hay
4. An occassional night out with the boys

Do you men agree? I find it hard to believe that it could be so easy. I know my hubby is not the simplistic. This is reminiscent of the 1950's mom seen in sitcoms.

[CuriousG]

I think the underlying point is that every once in awhile, a man wants to be taken care of, know that he is needed, feel like a man, and have a little freedom to just be a guy with the rest of the guys. I think this is true to some extent, but there's more to maintaining a long and healty relationship, as well as individual happiness. I think these same needs are true for everyone. Everyone wants to feel needed, secure, have a sense of freedom, and the opportunity to just interact with peers outside of their everyday routine.

[Alec]

I'm not a huge Dr. Laura fan, but I occassionally listen to her when nothing else interesting is on the radio. I've sure heard a lot of women call in who said it was working.

Men are pretty simple, IMO.

[Justawoman]

I can't imagine if you had that same routine everyday that you wouldn't get bored with it. When I do try to do something small and thoughtful for my spouse around the house he comes back with, " I can do it myself." But then again his mom is not the type of mother did anything normal for her children.

To some extent I am thankful I am more of an equal to my spouse than just a house ornament.

[spirit renewed]

My husband's mother waited on him hand and foot. He is her only son, and her oldest child. From time to time people have suggested to me that he might make a go of it working from home. (He's an accountant.) That's a remark that makes me loco. I look these helpful people in the eye and firmly say, "NO!"

The days he's home, he can't do a blarsted thing without help. He can't get onto the computer--can't remember his password (neither can I since I never knew what it was, but he kept trying to make me think of what it was by prompting me with the "clue" he left for himself). He wants to ask me just one question about twenty times--generally speaking things that if he took the time, he could figure it out for himself in under five minutes. He will stand in front of a full refrigerator with the door open and ask me if there's anything to eat. Which being translated means he wants me to fix him something to eat. And on it goes.

We've been married for 25 years. For better, or for worse--but not for lunch.

[Justawoman]

Both of my parents are retired. I think my mom is ready to strangle my dad. He is helpless beyond the meaning of the word. I don't mind it when my spouse is home for the day. That might be because we spent 3 years working everyday together. Now when he is late getting in I have to call and make for sure he is okay. It makes him laugh.

[Marcos]

I'm a little late with posting here, but I would like to add my 2 cents.

I have never liked Dr. Laura. Her advice to her callers on her show is too simplistic. I have always thought of people as being complex beings with thoughts and feelings and every situtation or problem having much more to them than meets the eye.

Men are not simple, just the majority of our needs. It doesn't take much to keep us happy most of the time, but, when there is a problem it can be just as complex as problems women have. (I am of course not referring to problems that are soley female in nature)

Those things that Dr. Laura refer to are good things, don't get me wrong. Bolstering ego, a hearty meal, etc...are needed but so are other things. Men like to be heard. We like to know that our opinion counts, especially in important matters. Not simply dismissed when we have thoughts on an issue. We like to feel like we are needed for something more than just fixing things or opening a jar of pickles. We like to know that we matter to our families. That our families want us around because we make their lives better. (Hopefully we actually do this) Men also like to know that they have done something worthwhile with their lives. That they have not simply wasted their time on this earth. (Maybe that is more of an internal thing than something a spouse can help with) We also like it when our wives are interested in the things we are. I know we men need to be interested in things our wives are as well.

I hope this makes some sense.

[Justawoman]

Actually it made alot of sense Marcus. Relationships are most definitely a two way streak. All the things you said men need to know are true with woman as well. It all comes down to how well we communicate our spouses importance in words as well as actions. I hope I never look back and say," I always assumed you guys knew I loved you. Look at the things I did for you." That most definitely would not be enough. We need to hear it as well.

I tried the whole meeting my spouse at the door with a smiile and a glass of tea. Yep, I was right in my initial assessment. He wondered who did what and what was wrong and who needed a talking too. I starting laughing at his response, gave him a kiss and said I knew it. Of course I had to explain. He agreed with you Marcus that Dr. Laura can put a spin on something that is far more complex than the surface reveals. I just think she can be down right rude to her callers when it is not called for.

[theyeti]

My opinion would be that if that's what Dr. Laura says....

... there's a pretty good chance the reality is something else. ;)

[raybeck]

I'm pretty sure Dr. Laura has been divorced, too (not saying that's a bad thing, but if you want to write books about marriage, you might ought to make sure your own is intact!!!)

I don't think my DH is simple, either. He does love for me to meet him when he comes home with a hug and a kiss, but he doesn't care what I am wearing, would prefer I not be wearing anything...ha ha (oops, that's another thread...j/k)! I really have to admit he is a very easy person to keep happy, I am much more high maintenance than he is, that's for sure. {love}

[pack momma]

The days he's home, he can't do a blarsted thing without help. He can't get onto the computer--can't remember his password (neither can I since I never knew what it was, but he kept trying to make me think of what it was by prompting me with the "clue" he left for himself). He wants to ask me just one question about twenty times--generally speaking things that if he took the time, he could figure it out for himself in under five minutes. He will stand in front of a full refrigerator with the door open and ask me if there's anything to eat. Which being translated means he wants me to fix him something to eat. And on it goes.

We've been married for 25 years. For better, or for worse--but not for lunch.


Sounds just like my husband, are they out of the same mold?

luv ya honey, but go to work and give me some space so I can get something done.

[Gourmetmisse]

This thread makes me think about this book that was out in the 50's, maybe the 60's. I can't remember the name of it, but maybe someone does.
There was a little book for wives that gave them tips on how to be a great homemaker. It had advise in it like..."only run the washer, dryer and dishwasher during the day when your husband is at work, so he can have peace & quiet when he gets home from those noisy machines. And it advised...if your husband is expected at 4:30, go apply lipstick and fix your hair at 4:15. Can you believe how long we have come?
I know my mother in law use to follow that book, as she was a stay at home mom, and her children remember her running into the powder room in the afternoon and always asking her if she was going somewhere. "No...your dad is coming home in a few minutes" was her response. (My mom worked full time)
My in laws have been married 45 years now.

[raybeck]

Wow, Misse, 45 years, something she did must have worked!!! lol

[Justawoman]

I can see that working back in the 50's when a household was one income. Now of days it takes both partners to put bread on the table. My parents have been married 52 years. Mom didn't start working til I was in the 3rd grade. I can't remember hearing anything but peace and quiet when Dad came in from work. But I can say my mom didn't always put lipstick on or look her best. She worked out in the yard all day and we always had farming or animals to tend too. I don't think Dad expected her to look glamorous and help him out with daily chores. In fact I don't think I knew what makeup was until high school. I always had a healthy bronze glow from being outdoors. If a man wants to see lipstick and smell perfume when he comes home I think he ought to return the favor and go shower put on some of that good smelling stuff for the woman in his life.

[Alec]

LOL! That's exactly what I was thinking Raybeck!

[Lino]

I personnaly think both men and women should look after theirselves at all times, not so much because you you are willing to impress somebody but because, in my opinion, it shows what kind of person you are, e.g. messy or tidy. Now as answer to the thread, I tottaly agree with Alec that us men are not that hard to please and bearing in mind there are no 2 equal personalities for a wife to know how to please the hubby depends a lot in how much is she willing to do it . " If there is Will there is a Way"

[raybeck]

One thing I have discovered in my marriage of almost 34 years is that if I am kind and treat Ray with respect, he, in turn does the same for me. I really have to admit that he gives a lot more in our marriage than I do, maybe not too many wives can say that and I only know my circumstances, but it's the truth. My girls think he hung the moon and told him once, they hoped to marry a man just like him........what a compliment to him, made him tear up alittle. They both married great guys, one is more like Ray than the other, but both girls are happy and that's what counts!!! Don't mean to get all oooey goooey on you guys, but reading this thread made me realize how blessed I am!!! (Trust me, Ray ain't no saint, either, he has his times...just wanted to make that clear...lol).

[Gourmetmisse]

Don't mean to get all oooey goooey on you guys, but reading this thread made me realize how blessed I am!!!

That is so sweet Raybeck.
You know, I think it is two ways as well in order to make a happy marriage ,{love} so Mr. Ray is probably a very happy man who recognizes he is blessed.

Let me step up here {soapbox} and say....As far as my in-laws go, I think the fact that my father-in-law went straight home after work and not to the bar or the racetrack showed that he appreciated his wife. (I'm sorry to say my own dad did not come home to my mom every night). In the days I grew up it did seem alot of men spent time in the bars more than these days. Maybe society is making progess? I'd like to think so.