Mid Terms

[anon13]

I'm REALLY worried about my mid terms. I was a straight a student last year and now I'm doing bad..even though I can make it up by the end of the marking period. But my parents have to sign the mid terms and review them :(

I have a D in science..MOSTLY because of my group. Then, I forgot a graph and I got a zero for it so it was partly my fault :(

I also have a D in Cooking class...that IS because of my group they wouldn't help me with any of the paper work or clean up..

I am doing ok in all other subjects, all a's and b's, one low b.

But I'm seriously worried that my mom will get reeally mad at me and do something :(

Please help, thanks

[anon13]

How should I go about telling them? How would you react?

[jamesglewisf]

You know what? I'm 34 years old, and I still screw up, and I still get nervous when I have to tell my father about it. I never made a "C" until I got to college. I was an all A's and high B's student. I was a good teenager; I don't know why I got so nervous. I think it was because I was afraid to disappoint him, not because I thought I would get into trouble.

He and my mom were just out of town for almost a month, and I was checking their mail for bills each week. I mis-read a notice from the IRS and thought it could wait till he got back. I read it one more time before he returned and realized that it had needed a response the day before. My heart sunk, and I felt like an idiot. It was totally my fault, and I had just blown it.

Guess what happened? Nothing. He said not to worry about it and just go ahead and take care of it a day late. He told me how much he appreciated my taking care of his personal business while he was out of town. All of that worry was for nothing.

I think that the best thing to do with your mom is to be honest with her. Tell her how nervous you are because you don't like to disappoint her. Promise to do better and ask her to check up on you daily or weekly to hold you accountable. She will be flabbergasted!

Of course, you have to follow through and get your grades up.

You need to remember that your mom loves you. This will not be the last time you blow it. You are human, and she knows that. An adult recognizes his or her mistakes, takes steps to correct them, and moves on. Learning that is part of growing up.

Does this sound reasonable?

[jamesglewisf]

BTW, none of this means that you won't get punished. Part of screwing up as an adult is learning that even though you are forgiven, there can still be consequenses.

The funny thing about it is that I don't remember many of the punishments I got when I was a teenager. However big in scope it might seem in the present, it quickly becomes a distant memory.

The important issue with your mom is not the punishment, it is having a relationship with her where you can be honest and civil and loving. She will always be your parent. It is her responsibility to try to help shape you into a mature adult, and part of that shaping is learning about consequences.

But trust me, it is more fun and more enjoyable to get along with your parents than to just be another average teenager who fights with them. Of course, you will have disagreements; that is part of becoming your own person. But you still need to respect them and love them.

[jamesglewisf]

One thing most young people do not fully understand is that it is scary being a parent. You are afraid that you are going to somehow screw up and lose your kids. You are afraid that some wedge will be driven between you and them. You're afraid that somehow you'll raise this obnoxious adult that nobody likes to be around or one that can't hold a job for more than two months. All of these horror stories go through your head, and you worry that you will take a perfectly good human being and make a mess of him.

So when a parent reacts or even overreacts to a grade, it is often out of fear of failure as a parent. We're scared to death that you are going to spend the rest of your life working at McDonald's or marry some jerk that doesn't love you because we did a lousy job as parents.

So while you are hoping that your parents will cut you a little slack, cut them a little also. It really is scary being a parent.

[jamesglewisf]

Oh, I thought of something else. It is better to take full responsibility for your own grades, even if you truly feel like your group has part of the responsibility. I wouldn't even mention the rest of the group.

[jamesglewisf]

BTW, anon13, be sure to tell us how it goes. Don't leave us hanging here.

[RoadRunner]

c'mon anon13. Spill the beans. Are you grounded for 3 years? On kitchen duty till youre 34? Did she make you eat your vegetables? WHAT HAPPENED?

[anon13]

I showed her a D..and nothing much happened! I still have to show her other grades, a C, B and a D :(

I might be grounded for that

[jamesglewisf]

You're back! I thought we had lost you forever. Well, I hope things go well for you. I wouldn't wait to show her the others. I'd rather see them all at once than have you keep coming back with more.

[jamesglewisf]

Give us your thoughts on some other threads. It's always great to get the opinions of youth.

[RoadRunner]

I agree. I wouldn't wait on the others. It never works for me to spread out bad news.

[jamesglewisf]

Whatever happened to anon13, I wonder? I sure hope we can get an update.

[blinc]

Anon 13, I hope if you got grounded that's the reason you're not visiting. If so, we'll be here when you get ungrounded! Please let us know how you're doing. Are things working out? Were you able to tell your mom about your other grades? Hope you are doing well! :)